This time last year, we were preparing for our cross-cultural wedding in Izmir, Turkey. While the wedding was such an exciting day, we knew that after the wedding day, we had a marriage to nurture. Salih and I were also aware that a cross-cultural marriage comes with a different set of struggles and joys. In anticipation, I searched for podcasts and books with marriage advice and wisdom. In the process, I stumbled upon Jeremy and Audrey Roloff's (Remember Jeremy from TLC's Little People, Big World?) podcast. They are on a mission to share their own personal tools for a healthy marriage and to teach these skills to the public.
Salih and I were immediately intrigued by their weekly habit to intentionally check in with their partner. They identified six questions to ask once a week to review the past week and look forward to the upcoming week.
As a newly married cross-cultural couple, we are aware that to communicate clearly and set expectations we must make more of an effort. Since regularly starting this Sunday-night practice nearly seven months ago, our understanding of each other and ourselves has increased significantly! We put the reminder in our phone calendar with the questions in the notes and we often like to take a walk while we go through the questions.
I have been surprised by how normal it has become in our weekly routine. It allows for genuine moments of thankfulness, reflection, conflict resolution, and joy to be shared on a routine basis. Below, you can find the six questions we ask every week but of course, you should feel free to tweak them to what is appropriate for your relationship. I hope this helps you or gives you an idea that you can try out in your relationships!
What brought you joy this week?
What is something that was hard this week?
What is one thing I can do for you this week?
Is there any unresolved conflict/hurt that we need to resolve and/or seek forgiveness for?
What is a dream, craving, or desire that has been at the forefront of your mind?
How can I pray for you this week?
Let me know below if you have any questions that you think should be added to the list!